I have been behind in posting for a few reasons. One, because our days have been filled with activities since going on holiday. Two, given what's happened in the states this past week, I've needed time with my boys and in my own thoughts. I've read the thoughts of many others, but I have wanted to collect my own. I've cried (oh how I've cried) and I've hugged my sweet, sweet boys so many times they are starting to run when the see me coming.
There are no words to express the sadness and shock I felt upon waking up on our Saturday morning. I have a 5 year old. I am a teacher. It hit so close to home. My thoughts have remained with those families every day. The holidays will now take on a new meaning for them. A meaning they were forced to have because of one very evil human being. But where there is darkness, there is also light. Like most people, I'm searching very hard to find the light. I think I see it, then it gets turned off. The light may not shine for days, weeks or even years, but we HAVE to make that light shine again. Faith in humanity. In decency, respect, tolerance and love. It's there....we just have to find it. And when we do, it has be so powerful that it overcomes the darkness.
That darkness I'm talking about, children don't know it. By nature they find the light. They are pure, innocent little beings until someone takes that away from them. When Luke saw me crying that very dark day, Adam told him, "Mommy is sad because little kids were hurt today. They were hurt badly." With a little thought, Luke replied, "Did they fall down? Are they at the hospital?" That's innocence His world doesn't know anything more. And it doesn't need to.
For now, my light is my children, my family, my friends, and my students. They bring me joy, happiness and gratitude. They show me GRACE even when it doesn't seem there is any to be found. We need to get this right as a country. How, I don't know. And I'm not going to pretend to know.
I do know that I am so, so thankful for the blessings I have in my life. I'm sure we've all counted them a million times in the past 4 days.
To all of my blessings back home, I love you.
xo