Such Deep Sadness

Sometimes life seems so unfair. And horrible, and frustrating and sad. So damn sad.

When I was 11, I began babysitting for a family who I continually refer to as the "3 boys I nannied for." Nick, the oldest son, was just 5 when I started babysitting him. The two younger brothers, Ben & Alex, came along over the next several years. As the older brother, Nick was a role model in every facet of his life. My evenings and weekends of babysitting over the years turned into a nanny role as I shuttled the boys to and from their sports, cooked dinner, helped with light cleaning, homework and whatever else they needed. This family was a HUGE part of my childhood and is still a very important part of my life, even though I may not see them as often as I'd like.

Karen, the mom of the three boys, is someone very dear to me. She has hosted bridal showers, attended baby showers and has continued to play a special role in my life to this day. She is a best friend to my mom and someone I admire greatly. Her boys are the reason I tell people that "I just knew I would have boys."

Sadly, after a short (12 days), intense and very sudden battle with acute leukemia, Nick lost his fight and died today. My heart is completely broken for this family. It is unfathomable that the "3 boys I nannied for" no longer consist of three. His life on earth was far too short.

May they be wrapped tightly in love, strength and faith. And above all, may Nick rest in peace.


The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soul arises from the feeling that there is in every individual something which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore, absolutely and irretrievably lost.  ~Arthur Schopenhauer