Tolerance

To tolerate something means to allow the existence, occurance, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference. 


As we sat around the dinner table last night, Denis said the word tolerance when referring to Singapore. It stuck with me. Tolerance. How do we live a life that includes tolerance for people's ideas and beliefs that are different from ours? How do we teach tolerance? How do we become more tolerant? 

There are many times during our weeks where we compare the way things are in the states to how they are here. How can we not? That was our life for 30+ years and now we live a life so completely different. Yes, the same in many ways, but culturally it is so different. 

As many of us do, I am constantly thinking of ways to be better. Improve. Be more present. Take away meaning from each experience. Be more open-minded. Be more tolerant. 

I do know that children come into this world ready to give love and receive love. They don't know hate. They are shown and taught hate. They are taught intolerance by adult's actions and words. You see, every time an adult asserts that his/her way is the right way (or the only way), children learn from that. They are sponges, taking it all in. 

Then there's this tricky thing of selfishness. By nature, kids are selfish beings. As adults, it's our job to teach them and show them selflessness. Giving instead of receiving. 

If we have grown in anyway since being here, I hope it is in tolerance. Different beliefs exist, different religions exist and who are we to interfere with that? Who are any of us? Isn't showing intolerance to someone's belief or practice the same as thinking you are better than they are? And isn't that at the heart of selfishness? 

America is hard. It's tricky and it's frustrating and it's lovely. All in one. Singapore is all of those things too, but for very different reasons. We want Luke & Drew to know that all of those things are okay. Things can be hard. They can be tricky and they can be lovely. 

I really believe it's in the moments when things are hard and tricky that we have to work the hardest at being tolerant. Listening, opening our minds and trying to understand other ways of doing things. Without interference. 

Since moving here I am listening more. Learning more. Opening my mind and trying to understand. I find that when I do those things, my world is more lovely.  

What if we taught our children to give to others? What if we showed them what it's like to disagree with someone respectfully? What if we provided them opportunities that allowed them to form their own opinions instead of taking on ours? 

You can imagine how much is going on in my head right now. Thankfully Adam gets me, he gets it. Together, we strive to model tolerance for our boys and in doing so, we have found that our minds have become much more open. That's a good thing. I thank Singapore for that. 


All that said...my tolerance has limits. Those limits are cockroaches. If I see another one I am going to freaking lose it.