Party's over

This week has consisted of work, work and more work - and throw in 2 sick boys who haven't been to school yet this week. I think they are on the mend and ready to return to school tomorrow.

I started this blog to write about our journey AND with a promise to myself to be open and honest about this experience. I feel a little Debby Downerish lately in my posts, but that's how I've felt. I've had pity parties, "I want to go home" tantrums and hands up in the air frustration. Adam has been so patient and forgiving and I think it's partly because he's felt the same way too.

One thing I have realized a lot lately is that no matter where we are in the world, we are all human. We have the same raw emotions on all sides of the globe. When I had a really crappy day at work, I learned my sister had the same kind of day in the states. When I was ready to walk out of Singapore, I learned several of my new friends were too. As I suffered from major mom guilt, other friends joined me in that feeling. As I cried because I missed my family and friends back home, I learned they cried because they missed us. It goes on and on. We're all feeling it, living it, sharing it and experiencing it together. Life. Same/Same.

I am saddened by what others are going through in their lives. Then I stop and think, "Here I am complaining about my life, while others are hurting. They are reeeaaallly hurting." My hurting is small potatoes compared to their hurting.

My new normal has taken on a different feeling lately. I got cocky. I thought I cruised through the "what the heck was I thinking phase" when out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks last week. Now it's time to pick myself up, shut my pity party down and move on. Small potatoes.

Even when I'm feeling all Debby Downerish, I find ways to be grateful. I have to. I believe the hard stuff makes the good stuff gooder. Better. If we didn't go through hard things, we wouldn't appreciate life when the really good things happen. And they happen every single day. We just have to be present enough to open our eyes and see them.

My eyes were open enough today to appreciate:

-Snuggles on the couch with my two sick boys before I went to work
-A message from my principal (I still can't bring myself to call her my former principal) who somehow knew exactly what I needed to hear
-All of my teammates smiling and laughing together
-A text from a dear friend that made me laugh as I started my day
-My students taking action and saving the little lives of approximately 75 caterpillars
-An iced latte during my prep period
-A husband who stood on the balcony with the kids and waved to me as I crossed the field to come home
-Skype's ability to connect Nanny & Grandpa with their grandsons
-A picture of my favorite bottle of wine sent from someone who knows me too well

See. That's happy, feel good stuff. And it's all mine in this crazy, humid, Singapore life.


P.S. Next time I write we'll be headed to or in Bali. Debby isn't welcome on that trip, so I promise you'll get happy pictures and happy words.